Propers: Jason Statham - Rise of the Action Hero

Things were looking a bit grim on the action hero front in the mid-late 90s. Most of the heavy hitters that had been in the game for a while were slowing down, getting into politics, or were Steven Seagal. There was a lull where not a whole lot was going on. Vin Diesel showed a bit of promise in the early aughts, but then made the move to family flick ("Pacifier") a bit too quickly for people to take him seriously.

Enter the Statham. He proved likable in the early Guy Richie movies, but stepped up big against Jet Li in "The One." What cemented his position as future action hero was his starring role in "The Transporter." This Luc Besson produced flick proved to be the mindless goldmine that vaulted Statham's career to the next level. He drives a fast car and then beats people up. What Statham is good at is keeping a completely straight face while pulling off some far fetched action sequence. Take this scene where he rings the door bell, somehow from 20 feet away, allowing him a running start to kick down the door. Most action heroes would play this suitably tongue in cheek and maybe give a knowing wink to the camera. Not Statham, he just delivers another kick to the head.

"Transporter 2" upped the ante of lunacy, and was still a really solid action movie. Things would hit a new high in action-movies-with-a-wink-and-a-nod in 2006. "Crank" was a 90 minute music video with cartoon action sequences and a plot that makes "Speed" look normal. It somehow crammed nearly all the action movie cliches into one story and still made it completely entertaining to watch. Only to be topped in crazy by its sequel (which was fun but suffered from taking the original and trying to out shock it). "Crank" is, if not the first, an early example of a new wave of action movies that unabashedly gives the audience all the over the top, far fetched, cartoon action they want without trying to bog the movie down with what is essentially a useless plot (see also "Shoot Em Up," "Machete," "Black Dynamite"). Movie makers and viewers have finally accepted that action movie plots are often more far fetched than some of the stunts, so why not trim the fat.

Jason Statham showed in "The Expendables" that he has worked his way into the action hero upper echelon and shows no sign of slowing down. It is about time there is a new action star. IMDB shows possible sequel to "The Expendables" and a couple other movies where he plays a variation of agent or elite secret agent. I for one am looking forward to a Statham starred remake, nay, reboot of "Double Impact."

The Cars That Ate Paris - 1974

This is no City of Light, it's more like the City of Brutal Car Wrecks.

I am not sure how to label this one, black comedy, satire, grindhouse, western deconstruction, horror... it is a bit of each. It was directed by Peter Weir (Dead Poets Society and Master & Commander) in 1974. This came around the time of other doom car movies like "Mad Max" and "Death Race 2000"

It opens with an idyllic couple smoking alpines and drinking coca-cola taking a nice drive in the country. Without warning a wheel falls off their car and they drive off the road and die, not unlike the ending of a Toonces skit. The next scene threatens to greet two more passengers with the same fate, but Arthur, our protagonist is spared. He wakes up in the small Australian town of Paris where he is adopted but the town mayor. Arthur, now terrified of driving due to the accident (and a sinister post accident trauma test), tries to leave via car and by foot. These attempts prove unsuccessful so eventually he gives in and stays in town.

The town residents include a mad surgeon, the youth (they are referred to as youth but look like they are in their mid to late twenties) that modify cars into death machines, and a group of lobotomized hospital patients. Turns out the town has a hobby of killing motorists, stripping their cars and using any possible survivors as science experiments.

The car crashes at the beginning of the movie offer a bit of action, but the bulk of the movie finds Arthur slowly discovering that this town is not what it seems, slow plodding eerie revelations to Paris' dark secrets. And then the ending happens.

There was a dispute between the Youth and the rest of the town folk which results in the burning of one of the souped up car/death machines. Retaliation happens at a bizarre town dance that seems like a scene used as the basis of a future David Lynch movie. The Youth attack killing a few townsfolk but themselves dying in the process. People are impaled on car spikes, others are repeatedly rammed with a car, a pretty bloody climax for the movie.

The attack forces Arthur to seek shelter and defend himself with a car which rids his fear of driving. After the attack Arthur leaves Paris for good. A rite of passage similar to Peckinpah's "Straw Dogs" but less misogynistic and infinitely more enjoyable.