Zapped!

Made the same year as Porky's in 1982; Zapped! was a strange movie that follows in the same vein. The movie is pretty loose on plot, and by pretty loose I mean completely absent of it. It starts off with Scott Baio as Barney Springboro, the high school science brainiac playing with mice in scuba suits.

Later he, through a couple weird coincidences, manages to give these mice telekenetic abilities. A couple of amazing 1980s special effects later and BAM! Now Charles is in charge...with his mind! Much of what follows are close ups of eyebrows as that is the only way to convey some telekenesis is going on and Barney using his abilities to open up his classmates blouses. Oh the 80's, they really don't make them like that anymore.

Barney and his best friend and mouthpiece Peyton (who is also growing pot in the science lab, not much more on that later) beat up meat heads, cheat at roulette and use Barney's mental powers to win at baseball against a rival high school team with a 35 year old pitcher. Come to think of it there were a lot of full bushy mustachioed high schoolers.

Well after a couple of yucks some t&a and an uncomfortably long make out montage you realize nothing really has happened. There is no conflict and everything just ends, but not before a whole lot of torn off clothing and butts at the high school prom after Barney goes on an unprovoked rampage. No lessons learned, no character arc. Oh and there is this.

Rocky 4

Could the Rocky series be the most culturally significant film series in recent history? Lets take a look.

The original Rocky movie came out in 1976 and in many ways mirrored the life of Sylvester Stallone, who also wrote the movie. He was having trouble selling scripts and running out of money. The movie follows a character who is going nowhere, occasionally participating in a fight here and there, but never getting his career off the ground. Finally he meets a gal and decides he is going to really commit himself, rises up and develops a legitimate boxing career. This movie is outlining the American Dream, pulling up those boot straps, achieving your goals and getting the girl all at once. Going the distance. On a one way road. Eye of the tiger.

The following Rocky movies broach topics and worries that are on the minds of Americans. Rocky II plays upon themes of multiculturalism which was often discussed in the mid 70s and 80s. Apollo Creed the antagonist eventually becomes an close friend with Rocky after their rematch (spoiler: Rocky wins).

In Rocky III Stallone takes on the young thug ex-con Clubber Lang (played by...oh yeah! Mr. T). Lang does everything he can to goad Rocky into a fight. Finally when Rocky can't be pushed any further he steps in and puts Clubber into his place (spoiler: Rocky wins). Lang in this movie represents the young street thug/gang member that was worrying many people in the early 1980's (see Warriors, Assault on Precinct 13, and Grease 2).

That brings us to Rocky 4. 1985. The Cold War. The stakes were much higher, and Stallone took up the charge himself, directing and writing this time. Rocky 4 succeeds on such an huge level that it actually ends the Cold War.

The Russians bring their prize fighter Ivan Draco to the United States to compete in Heavyweight boxing American style. Apollo Creed, not liking the fact that he is getting a bit older and slower volunteers to fight Draco and after showboating a whole bunch winds up getting killed in the ring. Rocky challenges Draco to avenge his fallen friend. The fight is scheduled on Christmas in Moscow. Rocky goes to train in Russia and there is an amazing montage that manages to reverse all the cold war stereotypes. Draco has all the technology in his training facilities and Rocky is in the country training with ox yokes and running up mountains. Come fight time the two box for what seems like 25 rounds and by the end for some reason the Russians in the crowd start cheering for Rocky. (Spoiler: Rocky wins).

After the fight Rocky gives a speech that explains that his feelings for the Russian people have changed, and those in attendance had changed their feelings about him and if they could change then the war could end, or something like that. It is pretty epic all around. Oh yeah, Rocky's friend Pauly gets a robot!

Rocky 5 sucked but it is about the youth not respecting elders. It ends in a street fight.

Rocky 6 is all about Rocky not wanting to give it all up, but instead he exits gracefully after one final fight.

Rocky 7: Adrian's Revenge.